Turning Pain Into Poetry: Power Of Expression
Turning Pain Into Poetry: POWER OF EXPRESSION
Poet Courtnie “Gork” Burns espouses authenticity, vulnerability and openness.
Sarah E. Isbell
Mad River Union
HUMBOLDT – Courtnie “Gork” Burns is an exceptionally gifted slam poet. Handpicked to open for National Poetry Slam event champion Andrea Gibson’s performance at Humboldt State this past spring, Burns left an audience of several hundred people spellbound and craving more.
But the future has not always been so bright for Burns, who spent their teenage years being shuffled around in the foster care system, and eventually between group homes and psych wards.
“I feel like growing up with a rough childhood, especially foster care, I was taught to repress my emotions and I was taught that I was my own worst enemy, and those are very harmful ways of thinking and being,” said Burns. “In foster care, they stopped letting me write because what I was writing was really dark, and scary for them.”
“But what they didn’t realize was that was healthy for me,” Burns continued. “It was a release, because I was getting those dark thoughts out they weren’t haunting my mind.” When Burns was prevented from writing, they began having suicidal thoughts. Disclosing those to their foster mother resulted in being arrested and immediately sent to a psych hospital.
“And that’s where the fear of expressing myself came from,” said Burns, “because the one time I did express these dark thoughts that I was having, I felt like I was punished for it.”
“Six months ago,” said Burns, “I was watching a TED Talk about poetry and the speaker said, ‘suicide is just another form of expression.’ And for me, that really hit home.”
Because of this childhood trauma, Burns never wrote or performed a poem until the age of 21. “I wrote my first poem in Costa Rica and while I was writing it, I envisioned myself on a stage performing it, and that was bizarre because I had no experience performing poetry,” Burns said.
Now, at age 24, Burns is one of Humboldt’s finest slam poets, and quickly gaining national recognition. Burns credits performance poetry with helping them in overcoming depression, PTSD and suicidal thoughts, “I feel I need to write. For me, it’s a survival skill at this point, my writing.”
Burns spreads the word by hosting the Human Expression open mic at Northtown Coffee in Arcata every Tuesday night from 7 to 9 p.m. “I wanted to create a space that invites people to learn how to write, to use their voice, and be confident in finding and using their unique voice,” they said.
Burns confronts the fear of fear. “Fear, in and of itself, isn’t enough to stop people from living life,” said Burns, “but it’s the fear of fear that gets in the way. And so my intention with doing Human Expression open mic and just getting up on stage myself, I’m trying to show people that you don’t have to be afraid of fear. It’s still going to bethere, but we can recognize it, give it its space, but tell it, ‘OK you’re going to sit down now, because it’s my source of power’s turn toexpress itself’.”
That power, said Burns, is what makes great poetry. “For me, it’s when I can tell that person is in their power. When they have found their voice and they have found their source of power, and are writing from that space. Authenticity, vulnerability and openness. And the creative factor and writing styles. But to me that’s not as important.”
When asked what advice they would give to aspiring writers, Burns replied, “I think my favorite piece of advice is once you’ve started writing, don’t stop writing. Use filler words, even circle the words that are filler words. It keeps you writing, keeps you going with the flow. And then, you can go back afterwards ... if you stop in the middle of your writing to try to come up with [the perfect word], you could lose your focus, you could easily lose your source of inspiration.”
Burns also emphasized that young poets should “breathe before they sit down to write.”
poeticous.com/courtnie-burns
NOTE: The singular“they” is used throughoutthis article at Burns’ request.
Flower Poem
To all the inspiring women out there not afraid ofbeing true to themselves and the world.
Little girl, you’re as pretty as a flower.
Standing there all sheep and shy,
you better recognize your power.
You’re a field of flowers of various kinds
here to inspire beauty and bring peace of mind.
Let those bees stop by and pollinate
taking only what they need then send them on their way
cause you’re firmly rooted in what you give
radiating sunshine willing others to live.
I’m just the homeless man you shared your smile with.
I may not make sense, but I can say this:
“You’re a flower, little girl, this I know
and you’ll bless this world as you grow.”
– Courtnie “Gork” Burns
